Saturday, October 6, 2012

Get Outta My Way

Attention Motorists of Vehicles with 4 or more Wheels,

Let's start at the beginning and tell it like it is, shall we? I fucking hate you. If you can't get the fuck outta my way, then I just have to hate you. I'm going to assume that most of you have a god damned drivers license, so why don't you know the rules of the road? I see you assholes out there every time we're on the bike, you Driving-Miss-Daisy-Slow-Ass-Motherfuckers. While I realize you must have nowhere better to go, perhaps some of us do. All I can think, over and over again is get outta my fucking way.
Now, on to you assfuckers driving those monstrous horizontal monoliths you call motorhomes. Get that cocksucking vulgar display of excess out of my path. Why don't you realize that going 20 mph on the highway, holding up 25 cars while you pick your damned nose, pisses the rest of us off? Use the damn turnouts! When you pass those turnouts, like you don't have time to keep pulling off for us, it seems you value your time more than ours. Don't you think we want to get where we're going too? We chose swifter vehicles so we could get there in a timely manner. Why should we all move like dying turtles just because you wanted to pack your entire house to take on fucking vacation? Get a clue you stupid bastards and get the fuck outta my way.

Let's talk SUV's, ok? These are not Ferraris you dumb fucks. The highway was not meant for your Loser Cruiser to weave in and out of traffic at 75 mph, cutting the rest of us off, like you're Mario Fucking Andretti. If you choose to drive a god damned marshmallow, then drive it like it was intended; doing the speed limit in the cocksucking slow lane, ok? For Chrissake, get out of my fucking way!

I hate you fuckers who ease over the line when we are lane splitting, which is NOT illegal where we live. When you move in to close the gap, I have fantasies of tying you down to the hood of your sled and shoving a 12 inch dildo up your ass until you're bleeding rectally. I hate you fuckers who flick your STD-ridden cigarette butts out of your motherfucking car windows with no regard for anyone but yourselves. I hate you fuckers who don't know how to turn your bloated heads and look over your shoulder when you change lanes. Shit! We're lucky that half of you know how to work your fucking turn signals! And, I hate you fuckers who drive on the motherfucking shoulder and spray rocks at us. Think of your windshield taking a rock, you ignorant cocksucker. Now remember, that's my god damned face.

So now that we have the record straight, if any of you have something you'd like to say to me, just let me know when and where. I have a size 7 1/2 Doc Marten that I would love to shove up your ass.

My name is Sash. I'm not fucking hiding. You want a shot at the title? I'm ready, you Bitch, anytime you think you're man enough. Let's roll. But until then, get outta my fucking way.

1 comments:

  1. Thank you very much for saying exactly what most are thinking. I love that your real and don't give a shit what others think. Move out of the fucking way I yell it all the time. Thanks for you thoughts I love to read them. If your a former beauty queen then maybe you would like to check out my biker fashion blog. www.powersportsdirectoryfashion.com You can she what the hottest trends are that way you can continue to look good while you yell at them to get the fuck out of the way!

    ReplyDelete

About Sash


People call me "Sash" because I'm a former beauty queen in my old home town. My father used to ride in an MC which got me interested in the culture. After my last divorce I said "goodbye" to Susie Homemaker and became the rude biker chick I always felt inside. (Read more...)