Thursday, November 20, 2014

Family and Commuting in San Diego

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I feel like I've neglected my blog lately. It's been a very busy few weeks, and the only motorcycle riding I've done is back and forth from San Diego, CA to Menifee, CA where my home is.

Last weekend my daughter and her husband came to Menifee (my daughter Olivia is beside me with my grandson Jackson, and her husband David is behind me) and Steve and I rode up to Menifee to my niece's home for a Family Football Day. Actually, it was just a reason we used to get together and spend family time, watching football, eating, drinking and singing karaoke.

My niece Shelli is our Assistant Extraordinaire, managing our business affairs and personal banking while we are on the road. She handles all of our mail, packages, banking, bookkeeping, etc. She is the one in the red holding her youngest, Sophia, age 17 mos. Her kids are Brianna age 15, Josh age 9, and Zack age 11 (he's so much like Steve it's scary!) and her husband David (yes we have 2 Davids!) is the tall guy in the back.

We had a fantastic visit and the girls got to spend some quality "Mommy Time" together.

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For Steve and I, it's good to come home, regroup, get work done, and catch up on personal stuff. I have a slew of doctor appointments over the next few weeks to manage my ever-nagging chronic pain, my pinched nerves in my shoulders (which are getting worse every day), my cardiovascular/heart issues, and my yearly physical. This is one of the main reasons we come back to San Diego each winter, as it takes time to address all of this crap. I really hate the nuisance of dealing with my health issues. I wish I could just be healthy and not have to address it all. . .

Fortunately, we have a great place to call home. San Diego has the best weather year round! We've rented a condo close to Balboa Park and we have all the amenities one could hope for; a gym, pool, spa, underground parking and washer/dryer in our condo. The only thing missing is a housekeeper, so now after being her 3 weeks, it's starting to show. One of us is going to have to break down and scrub a toilet soon. It's amazing how spoiled we've become after living in hotels for so long.

San Diego offers so many options for food and drink that we mostly walk to go out, and we go out about 4 nights a week. I love to cook, but since we work in our condo all day, it becomes imperative that we get out a few nights, just to break up the monotony of being in the same place all the time. Of course, we also walk over to Balboa Park too, just for some sunshine and fresh air.

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Motorcycling here is some of the best riding I've ever done. We have so many canyon roads from which to choose, the beauty of PCH, desert roads that lead through rolling hills, and a web of Interstates to access for getting somewhere quick. There's also the thrill of lane splitting, which is something one can only do in California. We got stuck in dead-stop traffic last Friday night riding from Lake Forest to Long Beach. We actually started our ride in San Diego, but the minute we reached the 405, traffic was at a stand still, so we rode the entire 33 miles splitting lanes.

We went to Long Beach to see Alonzo Bodden at the Laugh Factory with a few of the folks from Indian Motorcycles. The International Motorcycle Show was going on at the Long Beach Convention Center, so many of the people from the show were heading over to see Alonzo's act. He rides too, so part of his comedy centers on riding, and he certainly catered to the motorcycling crowd that night. We had a great time, even though riding to Long Beach was a long and grueling ride. Once we arrived we showered up, dressed up a bit, and hit the town. Steve treated me with a new sparkly dress and shoes, which made me incredibly happy.

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So I'm getting plenty of miles in, albeit not always the kind of miles I want to ride. So much of it has been simply commuting back and forth, but as Steve is so fond of saying, any day riding is a good day.

women-motorcycle-rider

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Thursday, November 6, 2014

Tainted Asphalt of Hate

women-motorcycle-rider
So often I say, "The Road is my Home," and I mean that when I say it, but on some other level of my reality, Southern California, San Diego and the suburban valley of Menifee are home to me as well. Even though I don't stay in Menifee, I own my property there and my Assistant Extraordinaire Shelli rents it. The house is her home, for her family, and when I go there, I am a guest. But a piece of me still sees the house and knows that a part of me lives within those walls. A painful ghost of who I once was. . .

I ride my motorcycle around the town with anger, resentment and rage. I remember my exx while I'm there and I know he lurks in the fast food joints and in his miserable rental house less than a mile from the home we once shared. When we initially separated he moved in with his parents in the next little town and sulked a couple of months. When Steve got his own apartment a mile from my place, my exx moved into a rental up the street from Steve's apartment. I'm sure it was no coincidence that he could see Steve's driveway from his street and he could just "BE" around all the time, driving up and down in my neighborhood.

Being in Menifee reminds me that I still feel a deep rage for this man. It saddens me that I'm not at a point of forgiveness yet, because I would like to be. But things happen in their own time, and as long as I'm willing, it will happen at some point.

I have friends in town that I love to see, but unfortunately, every event, lunch, meeting, and office I visit is only a temporary haven for the streets and parking lots that await me. Once I see the asphalt I feel the hate welling up in me and loathe this little town.

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I hate my exx for many reasons, mostly for all of the lies he told, and I wish in my heart that I could release the anger and live happily in this city of my friends. But the asphalt taints my motorcycle tires and I ride with rage, inspite of myself.

This is why I love San Diego, and all the roads beyond. I am free from my past, my reality, my mistakes with that loser, when I am rolling beyond those years and that captivity. Staying in San Diego through the holidays, I'm close enough to visit my family without having to be in the middle of that place that fills me with such pain.

For now, we'll be spending most of our time in this sunny spot on the coast, catching up on work and enjoying all it has to offer. We love the vacation rental we've found on Bankers Hill, also referred to as Park West, within walking distance of plenty of bars, restaurants and the famed Balboa Park. The ride to and from Menifee is only an hour, which is just long enough to cleanse away the black hatred in my heart for that life-sucking-vampire and miserable waste of skin zero to whom I was once married. By the time I reach the bright rainbow of lights of Hillcrest I'm happy and free again, ready to live in my new reality.

Where do you store the mistakes of your past?

Have you really left them behind for good, or do the haunt you when things get a little too quiet?

Is that when you, like me, roll back the throttle, scream in your helmet, and pull away from the pain and misery you caused yourself with bad choices and sorrowful excuses to fill in the empty spaces of your life?

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About Sash


People call me "Sash" because I'm a former beauty queen in my old home town. My father used to ride in an MC which got me interested in the culture. After my last divorce I said "goodbye" to Susie Homemaker and became the rude biker chick I always felt inside. (Read more...)